MARRIAGE AND COMMUNION
Part One:
Christian Marriage
God’s Covenant - Love Made Visible
God’s Covenant - Love Made Visible
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A little humorous clip from "The Princess Bride"
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Purpose of Marriage (CCC=Catechism of the Catholic Church)
- Cooperation with the Creator (CCC 372)
- Good of the spouses (CCC 1660)
- Transmission of life (CCC 372)
- Procreation and education of children (CCC 1652-53)
- Sacrament of service to the Church (CCC 1534)
Marriage as Icon of God’s Love
- Sign of the covenant of salvation (CCC 2384)
- Scripture begins and ends with a wedding (CCC 1602)
- Jesus’ first miracle was at a wedding
- Created out of love and called to love (CCC 1604-05)
Marriage as a Sacrament
- “Christian marriage becomes an efficacious sign of the covenant of Christ and the Church.” (CCC 1617)
- Baptism - nuptial bath
- Eucharist - wedding feast
- Marriage communicates grace
The Shape of Marital Love
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Consent and Covenant
- Free consent required (CCC 1626)
- Lifelong fidelity (CCC 1640)
- Covenant, not contract (Gen 15)
- Marriage bond established by God
Children and Fruitfulness
- Children are a gift, not a right (CCC 2378)
- Parents are first educators (CCC 1653)
- Two ends of marriage: Unitive and Procreative
- “When husband and wife come together, God acts.” - Fr. Santiago
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Chastity and Sexual Love
- Integrity of the person (CCC 2337)
- Integrality of the gift
- Sexuality is sacred, joyful, unitive (CCC 2360-62)
- “This is my body, given for you.”
Notes from the presentation:
Catechism of the Catholic Church: Purposes of marriage
Cooperation with the Creator’s work 372
Directed toward the salvation of others 1534 (sacrament of service, along with Holy Orders. Their mission in the Church is to build up the people of God)
Good of the spouses 1660
As man’s vocation 372, 1604-05 (we are created out of love and called to love. One flesh, unbreakable union)
Procreation and education of offspring 1652-53, 2366
Transmission of life 372
Marriage is an icon of God’s love
Makes visible the infinite, generative, potent love of God
CCC 2384 Sacramental marriage is the sign of the covenant of salvation.
Scripture begins with the creation of man and woman in the image and likeness of God and concludes with a vision of “the wedding feast of the Lamb” (CCC 1602). Jesus’ first miracle was at a wedding.
CCC1617 “The entire Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the Church. Already Baptism, the entry into the People of God, is a nuptial mystery; it is so to speak the nuptial bath which precedes the wedding feast, the Eucharist. Christian marriage in its turn becomes an efficacious sign, the sacrament of the covenant of Christ and the Church. Since it signifies and communicates grace, marriage between baptized persons is a true sacrament of the New Covenant.”
Free, Total, Faithful, Fruitful
Three questions before Consent
“Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves in marriage?”
No coercion, guilt, pressure, fear
Not impeded by any natural or Church law
CCC 1626 if consent is lacking there is no marriage
“Will you love and honor each other as husband and wife for the rest of your lives?”
Indissoluble
Not just a promise. A covenant (Gen 15:17)
CCC1640 “The marriage bond has been established by God himself in such a way that a marriage concluded and consummated between baptized persons can never be dissolved. This bond, which results from the free human act of the spouses and their consummation of the marriage, is a reality, henceforth irrevocable, and gives rise to a covenant guaranteed by God’s fidelity. The Church does not have the power to contravene this disposition of divine wisdom.”
“Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the Law of Christ and His Church?”
CCC 1653 “The fruitfulness of conjugal love extends to the fruits of the moral, spiritual, and supernatural life that parents hand on to their children by education. Parents are the principal and first educators of their children. In this sense the fundamental task of marriage and family is to be at the service of life.”
Two gifts/ends of marriage. These cannot be separated without compromising the good of marriage and the future of the family
Unitive (the good of the spouses)
No longer two, but one flesh (Matt 19:6)
Gaudium et Spes 52 “Let the spouses themselves be joined to one another in equal affection, and the work of mutual sanctification.”
Procreative (the transmission of life)
Just as God is generative and creative, sacramental marriage must be open to new life. “When husband and wife come together, then God acts.” Fr. Santiago
Birth control says “I love all of you except your fertility”
God’s love is potent, generative
Familiaris Consortio 2 “Marriage and the family are the first community called to announce the Gospel to the human person during growth and to bring him or her to full human and Christian maturity.”
Chastity in marriage
CCC 2337 “Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality, in which man’s belonging to the bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman. The virtue of chastity therefore involves the integrity of the person and the integrality of the gift.”
Integrity of the person: self mastery, free choice, temperance
Long and exacting work
Integrality of the gift: chastity is a witness of God’s fidelity and loving kindness
“This is my body, given for you.”
CCC2360 “The physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion.”
2361 “Sexuality, by means of which man and woman give themselves to one another through the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, is not something simply biological, but concerns the innermost being of the human person as such. It is realized in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of the love by which a man and woman commit themselves totally to one another until death.”
2362 “The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouse takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude. Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure: The creator himself established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.”
“Offer your body as a living sacrifice…”
All the baptized are called to chastity
Live in keeping with your state in life
CCC 2350 “Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence. They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity.”
CCC and homosexuality
2358-59 “The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s Will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition. Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.”
Family Planning
Children as a gift. CCC 2378 “A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift. The “supreme gift of marriage” is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged “right to a child” would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: the right “to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents,” and “the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception.”
CCC 2370 “Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality. These methods respect the bodies of the spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favor the education of an authentic freedom. In contrast, “every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible” is intrinsically evil.”
CCC 2371 “Let all be convinced that human life and the duty of transmitting it are not limited by the horizons of this life only: Their true evaluation and full significance can be understood only in reference to man’s eternal destiny.”
Artificial reproduction
CCC 2376 “Techniques that entail the dissociation of husband and wife, by the intrusion of a person other than the couple (donation of sperm or ova, surrogate), are gravely immoral. These techniques infringe the child’s right to be born of a father and mother known to him and bound to each other by marriage. They betray the spouses’ right to become a father and mother only through each other.”
CCC 2377 “Techniques involving only the married couple are perhaps less reprehensible, yet still remain morally unacceptable. They dissociate the sexual act from the procreative act. The act which brings the child into existence is no longer an act by which two persons give themselves to one another, but one that “entrusts the life and identity of the embryo into the powers of doctors and biologists and establishes the domination of technology over the origins and destiny of the human person… Under the moral aspect, procreation is deprived of its proper perfection when it is not willed as the fruit of the conjugal act, that is to say, of the specific act of the spouses’ union.”
Divorce
Mt 5:31-32 31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
CCC 2382 “Between the baptized, “a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death.””
CCC 2384 “Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery.”
Role of the wife
Gen 2:18 “I will make an ezer kenegdo for him”
Ezer: “help,” “strength,” “rescuer,” term used for God himself as protector
Military context: “shield and defense,” “better than chariots and horses,” “sentry watch over His people” link
Kenegdo: “corresponding to,” “opposite,” “face to face,” “in front of”
Eph 5 “wives be submissive to your husbands”
Submission as support
Follow the leadership and mission of your husband
“Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church.”
Even unto death
Disorder in marriage
CCC 1606 “Every man experiences evil around him and within himself. This experience makes itself felt in the relationships between man and woman. Their union has always been threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation.” 1607 “... The disorder we notice so painfully does not stem from the nature of man and woman, nor from the nature of their relations, but from sin. As a break with God, the first sin had for its first consequence the rupture of the original communion between man and woman.”
The “punishment” is the remedy
Pain in childbearing and work
These limit the damaging effects of sin
Marriage helps overcome self-absorption, egoism, pursuit of one’s own pleasure
Marriage opens us one to the other, mutual aid and self-giving
Wounds and healing
Caravaggio’s Doubting Thomas
“In my deepest wounds, I saw your glory, and it dazzled me.”
Ps 46:8 “Come and see what the Lord has done”
Our deepest desire is to be seen, known, loved
Healing mass 2-11-26
“We go into marriage thinking our spouses will be our healing balm, only to find they are the diagnosing finger of God.” Chris Stefanick, Restore the Glory podcast ep 36
The Saints
Mother Teresa: “It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home, for this is where our love for each other must start.”
Fulton Sheen: “When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.”
St. John XXIII: “The charity which burned in the household at Nazareth should be an inspiration for every family. All the Christian virtues should flourish in the family, unity should thrive, and the example of its virtuous living should shine brightly.”
St. Gianna Molla: “Love is the most beautiful sentiment the Lord has put into the souls of men and women.”
St. Thomas Aquinas: “The greater the friendship, the more solid and long-lasting the marriage will be, as we are united not only in flesh but in domestic activity.”
St. John Chrysostym: “There is no influence more powerful than the bond of love, especially for husband and wife. A servant can be taught submission through fear; but even he, if provoked too much, will soon seek his escape. But one’s partner for life, the mother of one’s children, the source of one’s every joy, should never be fettered with fear and threats, but with love and patience.”
Mother Teresa: “True love causes pain. Jesus, in order to give us the proof of his love, died on the cross. A mother, in order to give birth to her baby, has to suffer. If you really love one another, you will not be able to avoid making sacrifices.”
St. Josemaria Escriva: “Do everything for love. Thus there will be no little things: everything will be big. Perseverance in little things for love is heroism. A little act, done for love, is worth so much!”
PART II - THE EUCHARIST
Context Matters w/ Fr. Mike Schmitz
On the night that we (humanity) were at our worst, Jesus gave us His best. He said, “I’m still going to give you everything.”
When we avoid coming to mass, it’s a betrayal. Because the context of every mass is that Jesus gave us everything He had to give. If God had something better than the Eucharist to give us, He would have.
Catechism of the Catholic Church: Purposes of marriage
Cooperation with the Creator’s work 372
Directed toward the salvation of others 1534 (sacrament of service, along with Holy Orders. Their mission in the Church is to build up the people of God)
Good of the spouses 1660
As man’s vocation 372, 1604-05 (we are created out of love and called to love. One flesh, unbreakable union)
Procreation and education of offspring 1652-53, 2366
Transmission of life 372
Marriage is an icon of God’s love
Makes visible the infinite, generative, potent love of God
CCC 2384 Sacramental marriage is the sign of the covenant of salvation.
Scripture begins with the creation of man and woman in the image and likeness of God and concludes with a vision of “the wedding feast of the Lamb” (CCC 1602). Jesus’ first miracle was at a wedding.
CCC1617 “The entire Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the Church. Already Baptism, the entry into the People of God, is a nuptial mystery; it is so to speak the nuptial bath which precedes the wedding feast, the Eucharist. Christian marriage in its turn becomes an efficacious sign, the sacrament of the covenant of Christ and the Church. Since it signifies and communicates grace, marriage between baptized persons is a true sacrament of the New Covenant.”
Free, Total, Faithful, Fruitful
Three questions before Consent
“Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves in marriage?”
No coercion, guilt, pressure, fear
Not impeded by any natural or Church law
CCC 1626 if consent is lacking there is no marriage
“Will you love and honor each other as husband and wife for the rest of your lives?”
Indissoluble
Not just a promise. A covenant (Gen 15:17)
CCC1640 “The marriage bond has been established by God himself in such a way that a marriage concluded and consummated between baptized persons can never be dissolved. This bond, which results from the free human act of the spouses and their consummation of the marriage, is a reality, henceforth irrevocable, and gives rise to a covenant guaranteed by God’s fidelity. The Church does not have the power to contravene this disposition of divine wisdom.”
“Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the Law of Christ and His Church?”
CCC 1653 “The fruitfulness of conjugal love extends to the fruits of the moral, spiritual, and supernatural life that parents hand on to their children by education. Parents are the principal and first educators of their children. In this sense the fundamental task of marriage and family is to be at the service of life.”
Two gifts/ends of marriage. These cannot be separated without compromising the good of marriage and the future of the family
Unitive (the good of the spouses)
No longer two, but one flesh (Matt 19:6)
Gaudium et Spes 52 “Let the spouses themselves be joined to one another in equal affection, and the work of mutual sanctification.”
Procreative (the transmission of life)
Just as God is generative and creative, sacramental marriage must be open to new life. “When husband and wife come together, then God acts.” Fr. Santiago
Birth control says “I love all of you except your fertility”
God’s love is potent, generative
Familiaris Consortio 2 “Marriage and the family are the first community called to announce the Gospel to the human person during growth and to bring him or her to full human and Christian maturity.”
Chastity in marriage
CCC 2337 “Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality, in which man’s belonging to the bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman. The virtue of chastity therefore involves the integrity of the person and the integrality of the gift.”
Integrity of the person: self mastery, free choice, temperance
Long and exacting work
Integrality of the gift: chastity is a witness of God’s fidelity and loving kindness
“This is my body, given for you.”
CCC2360 “The physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion.”
2361 “Sexuality, by means of which man and woman give themselves to one another through the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, is not something simply biological, but concerns the innermost being of the human person as such. It is realized in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of the love by which a man and woman commit themselves totally to one another until death.”
2362 “The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouse takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude. Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure: The creator himself established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.”
“Offer your body as a living sacrifice…”
All the baptized are called to chastity
Live in keeping with your state in life
CCC 2350 “Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence. They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity.”
CCC and homosexuality
2358-59 “The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s Will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition. Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.”
Family Planning
Children as a gift. CCC 2378 “A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift. The “supreme gift of marriage” is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged “right to a child” would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: the right “to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents,” and “the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception.”
CCC 2370 “Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality. These methods respect the bodies of the spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favor the education of an authentic freedom. In contrast, “every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible” is intrinsically evil.”
CCC 2371 “Let all be convinced that human life and the duty of transmitting it are not limited by the horizons of this life only: Their true evaluation and full significance can be understood only in reference to man’s eternal destiny.”
Artificial reproduction
CCC 2376 “Techniques that entail the dissociation of husband and wife, by the intrusion of a person other than the couple (donation of sperm or ova, surrogate), are gravely immoral. These techniques infringe the child’s right to be born of a father and mother known to him and bound to each other by marriage. They betray the spouses’ right to become a father and mother only through each other.”
CCC 2377 “Techniques involving only the married couple are perhaps less reprehensible, yet still remain morally unacceptable. They dissociate the sexual act from the procreative act. The act which brings the child into existence is no longer an act by which two persons give themselves to one another, but one that “entrusts the life and identity of the embryo into the powers of doctors and biologists and establishes the domination of technology over the origins and destiny of the human person… Under the moral aspect, procreation is deprived of its proper perfection when it is not willed as the fruit of the conjugal act, that is to say, of the specific act of the spouses’ union.”
Divorce
Mt 5:31-32 31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
CCC 2382 “Between the baptized, “a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death.””
CCC 2384 “Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery.”
Role of the wife
Gen 2:18 “I will make an ezer kenegdo for him”
Ezer: “help,” “strength,” “rescuer,” term used for God himself as protector
Military context: “shield and defense,” “better than chariots and horses,” “sentry watch over His people” link
Kenegdo: “corresponding to,” “opposite,” “face to face,” “in front of”
Eph 5 “wives be submissive to your husbands”
Submission as support
Follow the leadership and mission of your husband
“Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church.”
Even unto death
Disorder in marriage
CCC 1606 “Every man experiences evil around him and within himself. This experience makes itself felt in the relationships between man and woman. Their union has always been threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation.” 1607 “... The disorder we notice so painfully does not stem from the nature of man and woman, nor from the nature of their relations, but from sin. As a break with God, the first sin had for its first consequence the rupture of the original communion between man and woman.”
The “punishment” is the remedy
Pain in childbearing and work
These limit the damaging effects of sin
Marriage helps overcome self-absorption, egoism, pursuit of one’s own pleasure
Marriage opens us one to the other, mutual aid and self-giving
Wounds and healing
Caravaggio’s Doubting Thomas
“In my deepest wounds, I saw your glory, and it dazzled me.”
Ps 46:8 “Come and see what the Lord has done”
Our deepest desire is to be seen, known, loved
Healing mass 2-11-26
“We go into marriage thinking our spouses will be our healing balm, only to find they are the diagnosing finger of God.” Chris Stefanick, Restore the Glory podcast ep 36
The Saints
Mother Teresa: “It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home, for this is where our love for each other must start.”
Fulton Sheen: “When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.”
St. John XXIII: “The charity which burned in the household at Nazareth should be an inspiration for every family. All the Christian virtues should flourish in the family, unity should thrive, and the example of its virtuous living should shine brightly.”
St. Gianna Molla: “Love is the most beautiful sentiment the Lord has put into the souls of men and women.”
St. Thomas Aquinas: “The greater the friendship, the more solid and long-lasting the marriage will be, as we are united not only in flesh but in domestic activity.”
St. John Chrysostym: “There is no influence more powerful than the bond of love, especially for husband and wife. A servant can be taught submission through fear; but even he, if provoked too much, will soon seek his escape. But one’s partner for life, the mother of one’s children, the source of one’s every joy, should never be fettered with fear and threats, but with love and patience.”
Mother Teresa: “True love causes pain. Jesus, in order to give us the proof of his love, died on the cross. A mother, in order to give birth to her baby, has to suffer. If you really love one another, you will not be able to avoid making sacrifices.”
St. Josemaria Escriva: “Do everything for love. Thus there will be no little things: everything will be big. Perseverance in little things for love is heroism. A little act, done for love, is worth so much!”
PART II - THE EUCHARIST
Context Matters w/ Fr. Mike Schmitz
On the night that we (humanity) were at our worst, Jesus gave us His best. He said, “I’m still going to give you everything.”
When we avoid coming to mass, it’s a betrayal. Because the context of every mass is that Jesus gave us everything He had to give. If God had something better than the Eucharist to give us, He would have.